How is it possible that only a day has passed since I posted my plea for help in finding my birth mother on Facebook? Really,just 24 hours? It is truly amazing how kind and generous people really are. I'm not talking just about those dear old friends that you know have your back no matter what. I'm also talking about friends you haven't heard from since high school. WOW, it's crazy how many of you sent me private messages or called with suggestions. I LOVE YOU :) Did I mention the good number of absolute strangers that spent half the night on the computer with me? I had little Instant Message blobs, beeping and bleeping all over my Facebook page. Wayyy after 2:00 am you were there with me, not just helping, but holding my virtual hand. I.Am.Truly.Humbled.
So here's a recap of how my night and early morning went (yes, yes, the ponies, kids, chickens, cats, dog and sweet sweet hubby all received the attention they deserved at the appropriate times). Let me see, I think it will be best to put the evenings events down in somewhat chronological order (if my fuzzy brain can keep them straight).
1. A random and complete stranger, aptly dubbed "a Search Angel" found BMom's name. Well, at least what I was praying was her name. First, Middle, and Last. Ok, so the spelling was different from what I thought it was, the year was off, by one, and the school was a regional school. So, really, didn't that sound like a close enough fit? Problem is, with the year off and another woman by the same name that fit the supposed year, neither of us were sure of location) passed away at age 30. Hell no. Not my birth mother. No doubt I'm writing her right off the list and sticking with the off birthday, off spelling, but right area. Shoot. I forgot to mention my Search Angel searched the same year book that I KNOW I perused through months before and couldn't find her. I guess I didn't look hard enough. She searched through every page of probably more than a couple of on-line yearbooks and found her. Ohhh yeah, it HAD to be her.
2. Armed with a name, a couple of quotation marks, and a Google search box the next part was much easier. First, middle and last came up with an obituary. Oh geez. Really, I plug in her name and get an Obit. Again, not acceptable. Shut the front door. She's mentioned in it, but the obit is for her father. Why you might ask is her father's obituary from 1997 a bread crumb worth pursing? I'll tell you why. That short obituary also mentioned her BROTHER's name!!!!!
3. So, a Google search of her name brought up the single obituary for her father which also mentioned her having a brother. Back to Google we go. Better still, how about that little angel that you know from the horse world who's REALLY good at finding people who don't want to be found? Just like that, another little angel sends me the phone number and address of her BROTHER!!! Who doesn't love a little horsey friend angel? I know I do - X0X0X0X0! There were many more incredible offers of help, but this was the small trail that led me to this morning's phone call. As I don't think it would have been well received after midnight.
4. Let's fast forward to this morning. I was still concerned that I might not have the right person. I closely watched the clock and waited for the seconds to tick by until I felt sure I wouldn't be waking anyone up. Of course, that being said, I was also running the risk of said brother to have run off to work, left the house to run errands, or any other multitude of things that would put him out of hearing distance of his ringing landline phone. All right, deep breath, and dial the damn number. Ring one, ring two, ring... "Uhhh, hello? Ummm, yeah, this is... Aaaaa. Where do I begin?" So much for the well prepared speech that rolled around in my head, there was nothing but a road block in my mouth when I tried to explain who I was, or why I was calling. "So, you are John XYZ" "Ahh, did you happen to live in NJ?" "Great, do you have a sister named Janet?" "You do?", "OK, so let me tell you who I am and who I think I might be to you". Well, I said something along those lines. My brain and tongue were jello. Not very cooperative.... At all.
5. It was such a pleasure to speak to this man, with the deep throaty voice, and warm, slightly southern drawl. I still can't believe how open and honest he was with me. He shared everything he could think I'd want to hear. I told him that having children, was a huge part of my desperate search to find my birth mother. That paired with the horror story of my younger sister's birth mothers tragic ending. So, we ended our conversation with me giving him my contact information and asking him to share it with his sister. I did NOT ask where in NJ she lived, and held back from asking the 1001 questions that were rolling around in my head. I want this to be in her hands. I don't know if she ever told her family about me, or if I'm just ancient history in her mind. Honestly though. I can't imagine, or I choose not to imagine that she hasn't thought about me at least half as often as I've thought about her over the years. For me, yeah.. it's been pretty much every day.
6. So, now I wait. My, umm, uhhh, Uncle, has my phone number and both my email addresses. He called back later this morning to confirm my email address as the one he used bounced back. So, I sit and pray and hope. Again, I am eternally grateful to to everyone who's been there for me, sharing encouraging words of hope, saying a few extra prayers, and using their special powers to help me reunite with my birth family. I've got to say it - I am so glad, I decided to trust my instinct and lay it on the line. Let's see what tomorrow brings!
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