Hello Stranger

Hello Stranger,

I'd like to introduce myself. My name is Joanne Racaniello Pelosi.  You don't know me, and perhaps never will.  Despite the fact that we are complete strangers, I am hereby pleading with you to help me.  We have a mutual friend; acquaintance might be more fitting.  Actually, I've never met her, but we share something very intimate in common.  She is my birth mother.

Ok, I'll give you a minute, better yetl, take all the time you need to process this shocking information.  This woman that I have recently reached out to, a stranger to me, is the same person that I have been actively searching for for over 20 years.  I know we had at least one brief moment together.  It was 42 years ago when we were separated.  She was young and naive, and didn't have a support group to rely on.  On June 26, 1971 she gave me a gift.  It was a most selfless gift, and I imagine it was probably one of the most difficult things she's ever had to do.  She gave me away.  I believe it was her hope that the family that intended to raise me would do a better job than a young woman on her own could have done.  Can you imagine how painful this decision was?  With other, easier options, she chose to give me the gift of life, followed by another precious gift, the gift of a stable family that would love me unconditionally, and provide me with the life that she could not at the time.

Think back, and remember how young women were viewed who had children out of wedlock.  They were looked down upon like lepers.  To carry me close to her heart and part ways with me must have been devastating.  How could she know, that burying the secret of my birth would haunt her forever.  She trusted the guidance provided by her family, doctors and lawyers.  Try to forget about her and move on, they said. She will have a better life, and you too, can start over.  Become the person you want to be without the stigma of what you've done.  Move on.  Can you blame her?  How does one move on after that?  I don't know if I would have had the strength and courage to do what she did.

You know her.  You've known her for many, many years.  Can you imagine the pain she's felt?  How does one come clean after years of trying to forget?  To pretend like it happened to someone else?

Now, here I am, in her face. Making her relive what was long ago forgotten.  I feel for her.  I have been searching and praying for many years that one day, I would be able to thank her for making the difficult decision to let me go, and to let her know I'm alright.  I've been very fortunate.  I have had and still enjoy my loving supportive family, and now have some closure. I recently had the opportunity to send her an email, and pour my heart into it.  There are still puzzle pieces missing, and hopefully they too will be filled in soon.

Can you do a complete stranger a favor and wrap your arms around the amazing woman you married and tell her everything is going to be OK.  Don't ask her to share more than she's willing or able.  She's fragile right now, and I know she needs you, and your family's support.  Please give some thought to what she went thorough all those years ago and what she's going through right now.  I'm sure she feels like she was in a car accident.  There was no warning, just the hard impact one feels when being broadsided at high speed.  Please give her a hug, hold her tight and give her your support.

I'll be here waiting,  and hoping, that one day you and your family will understand that what she went through all those years ago.  Her history is part of what has made her into the loving wife, caring mother, and super grandmother that I imagine she must be.

Now breathe!